People always say that we have so many ways to describe forgiveness but only a few strategies for actually achieving it. They say that the best strategy to forgive is to forget. Yes, we've heard this a million times already but is this really how we feel? When you get hurt by someone, could you actually just forget and forgive him for what he has done? Forgiving seems impossible right? It's like giving them the permission to hurt us all over again but forgiveness is not something we do for others, it's something we do for ourselves. The grudge stops here.
Like everybody else, I also had experiences that caused me a lot of pain. The most painful experience happened when I was still in elementary school. I had a classmate that I had known since kindergarten and she was the closest friend I ever had. She was the person that I called my best friend. I always felt happy and safe when I'm with her and I always say to myself that having this one special friend makes me the luckiest girl in the world. But this friendship slowly faded away as time went by. I noticed that she was becoming distant and ignorant towards me and one day, our friendship ended. I found out that she was saying things behind my back and that made me feel betrayed. It was like all those years we spent together were nothing but worthless acts. I tried to understand her but it was just too much. We got mad at each other and eventually, we stopped talking to each other.
I eventually came to understand that in harboring the anger, I got myself trapped inside the prison cell of bitterness and despair, serving time for someone else's crime. I was giving the reins of control over to the person who had caused me pain. Forgiving was not about accepting her deeds, it was about moving on with my life. It's saying, "You don't get to trap me in the past. I am worthy of a future." I took all my courage with me to forgive her and by doing so, I had finally set myself free.
This experience showed me a new path towards a better life. I had met people whom I can call my true friends and I know that they will always be there for me and I will always be there for them. It also made me realize that none of us are bad people. We run across each other and we learn about ourselves. We make mistakes and we do great things. We hurt others, we hurt ourselves, we make others happy, and we please ourselves. We can and should forgive ourselves and each other for that.
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